January 2012
Olympic Year but not Yer
You may have noticed that in my previous articles I have tried to avoid the use of slang but I failed miserably with the above title which seems to sum up our lot as an Olympic location. No disrespect to the few events we have attracted to Wales, but come on, this is a London Games and no politician is going to convince anybody otherwise. However, do you know where the revival of the Olympic movement and modern games all began? No, not Athens, which staged the first modern Olympiad in 1896 but in Much Wenlock, Shropshire, in 1850, the brainchild of a local doctor, William Penny Brookes. It seems to me that Dr Brookes had it about right, combining feats of athletic prowess with a wheelbarrow race, a womens’ race for a pound of tea and quoits!
However, fear not fellow sports fans, all is not lost for us in Wales. The August Bank Holiday will see all roads leading to Llanwrtyd Wells in Mid-Wales for the Annual World Bog Snorkelling Championships incorporating the World Alternative Games. Not to be outdone by the London set, this will also include: Man v Horse; Underwater Hockey; Wife Carrying, Extreme Ironing and the throwing of Black Puddings and Yorkshire Puddings. Lord Coe has not commented on this athletic feast as far as I can tell but I suspect that Dr Brookes will be smiling down on the events which are closer to his dream than the London shindig. Believe it or not, this sporting event has attracted a £50,000 grant from the Welsh Government which I think is excellent value for money particularly when you consider the fragility of the Eurozone and how the price of black pudding has rocketed of late.
I don’t know about you but I am one of those grumpy old men who cannot abide “Reality” TV shows. My view is I do not care who the people are or what happens to them. I want escapism and entertainment from people with talents I do have rather than the turgid diet of dross that is slopped out on a daily basis. This set me thinking. Over the Christmas break I took a bit of a survey at the Rugby Club and we have come up with a few ideas of our own to make better “Reality” TV shows. What about, the self-explanatory Celebrity Shooting Fish in a Barrel or Supermarket Thief, where celebrities have an hour to steal as much as they can from a supermarket without being caught. Thinking about it, this latter one may have been done before (and don’t try this yourselves). We also came up with “Man Hunt” where an outspoken celebrity from the pro-hunting lobby is given half an hour to hide in the countryside and is then chased by a hungry pack of hunt-saboteurs, or, perhaps, “60 Minute Demolition” where again, a celebrity leaves their home for some spurious reason, say to collect their orange make-up which has just arrived in a truck at Dover, only to return an hour later to find their house demolished and no trace of the demolition team. At least they will be fully made-up to talk to the Press. If taken on by TV companies these programmes would help discourage the overuse of the term “celebrity” which has crept into modern culture. You heard it here first.
And now dear reader I need to make a confession to you all. Despite my rant about “Reality” TV, we will be holding “The RoX Factor” talent show at the Club on 4th February. In my defence, this has a judging panel of people who are widely known (and therefore by definition, non-celebrities) and a cast of talentless hopefuls to whom rehearsal is just one of many dirty words. Audience participation is encouraged and no doubt there will be plenty of kibitzing (I had to look this up as well: A kibitzer is a non-participant who hangs around a game, offering often unwanted advice or commentary…..top word). Oh yes, variety is alive, but not very well.
There was little rugby played over Christmas by our teams because both Christmas Eve and New Years Eve fell on a Saturday and the deluge of water that fell upon South Wales left our pitches resembling Roath Park Lake thus providing yet another amenity for the local community. We only charged £2 a boat. At the time of writing our 2 senior teams and youth team top their respective leagues. The youth did manage to play against Llanishen youth in a very close game which we narrowly won officiated by a lady referee. I have never seen our little angels so well behaved, and yes, she did well.
At the risk of alienating any female readers, this was heard after the above game:
Q “Why did God create Adam before Eve?”
A “To give him the chance to speak.”
If you want a good example of the kind of people who are members of our Club, the Blues Coach Gareth Baber kindly “volunteered” to referee our under 13’s last week in their victory over Aberdare. Gareth is a Club member and his son plays for us……….friends in high places and all that, something we would never seek to exploit.
So what lies ahead in 2012 apart from the statutory lottery win, weight loss, hair gain, 6 Nations Victory, promotion for all our teams and full and final relaxation of our planning constraints? I don’t know, this not a horoscope page but I think health and wealth are probably the best words I can leave with you or perhaps, always retaliate first and if all else fails, blame someone else (the last 2 suggestions were kindly provided by the potentially bestselling book “Tips for Politicians” wot I is writing).
If you have any questions, issues or ideas please do not hesitate to contact us at the Clubhouse on 029 20 460461 or e-mail: admin@stpetersrfc.co.uk
Vince Nolan
Director of Rugby
St.Peter’s RFC
